How to Become a Witch, Part Two

Accept that Losing Your Religion Is a Process

On Good Friday, the universe gave me an unexpected gift. Two, really.

I get my hair cut by a fabulous Italian lesbian from Philadelphia in her seventies. She has a ton of great stories, which means my haircuts are never boring. She also knows that I’m half Italian, so we compare notes on the Italian traditions we grew up with.

I got my most recent cut and color on April 18, which for Christians was Good Friday this year. If you’re not familiar with this particular “holy day,” it’s when churches celebrate Jesus dying for humanity’s sins. Then, two days later, he rises from the dead on Easter Sunday.

Yeah, it’s supposed to be three days, but whatever… Nothing good happens on a Monday.

Good Friday is also a day of fasting for Catholics, which is more like fasting lite. As in, it’s two snacks or little meals plus a light meal. But no meat. Yeah, the Muslims would say, “hold my beer” if they drank beer during Ramadan.

Had I still been Catholic, this year’s Good Friday would have been a day of extra penance.

First, my stylist had her assistant stop at a local Italian deli and pick up some traditional Italian Easter food that my family never made, but my stylist’s did. The spread included Easter bread with a colored boiled egg stuck in it, a meat pie, ricotta bread with wheat berries, and a plate of struffoli, which are like little donuts. You can see the food on the bottom of the graphic below:

No fasting or abstaining here! More on the background image and books in a moment…

I found myself in the strange ambivalent place of being thankful I could partake of the spread, but also missing Easter traditions, although my family didn’t make any of this.

There’s a psychological principle that it’s hard to change what’s familiar, whether it’s a behavior, relationship, or environment. The devil you know, and all that. I suspect that for me and for others who have left one spiritual path for another, we also grieve what could have\\\ (extra dashes = feline contribution).

The Germans have a word fernweh, which is nostalgia for something you never experienced. I definitely had fernweh for the big traditional Italian Easter feast, which wasn’t part of my upbringing. Could it have been the echo of a genetic or past-life memory? Maybe.

I still had this wistfulness as I drove home with my fabulous new purple highlights. Was I second-guessing my decision to leave Catholicism? No, but I could feel the draw toward what I had always been told was right even though it’s been a long time since it felt that way.

Yes, I’m food-motivated.

And then, another gift from the Universe showed up — a barbecue food truck at the end of my street!

We recently lost our local barbecue restaurant, which was around the corner, to the reduced traffic caused by neverending road constrution.

In my former life as a Catholic, a barbecue restaurant appearing on Good Friday would have been a sign that god wanted to punish me a little extra.

This Good Friday, it felt like a hug from the Universe.

Yes, I had ribs for dinner that night without regret and with extra gratitude for the validation that I’m on the right path.

If you’ve recently struck out on your own earth-centered spiritual path and are looking for your own gift, or perhaps words of encouragement, hope, and validation beyond this post, I have a few recommenations:

I read

Yvonne Aburrow

’s Changing Paths early on in my witchcraft journey. She’s Wiccan, but this book is accessible to anyone who’s moving toward what has traditionally been referred to as paganism and its various incarnations. She starts with an explanation of the different types of spiritual communities, which helped me clarify some important stuff. She also gives good introductory material and explanations. I liked this book so much, I sent it to a friend who was leaving the church around the same time I did.

For those who are in the process of re-evaluating their Catholicism or who have left but miss the comfort of the Rosary, I highly recommend The Way of the Rose: The Radical Path of the Divine Feminine Hidden in the Rosary by Clark Strand and

Perdita Finn

. It’s a brilliant book, and it gave me permission and ways to keep interacting with this powerful spiritual tool, but in a goddess-centered way.

Btw, both Yvonne and Perdita have great Substacks.

Finally, I love first-time author Moss Matthey’s An Apostate’s Guide to Witchcraft: Finding Freedom Through Magic. Moss came from a strict religious tradition (Jehovah’s Witnesses), and although his experiences may have been different, I resonated with so much of his dissatisfaction and the process he took to leave and become an “apostate” to find his own spiritual truth.

I’ve linked to all three books on my Bookshop.org Nonfiction Recommendations page. Due to not wanting to support the continued exploitation of workers and resources, I’m giving as little support as possible to the ‘zon. I suspect that separating from it will be even more difficult than leaving the Catholic church. :sigh:

What books or other resources have you found to be useful in your journey from the religion you grew up with to your own path? Please comment and let me know.

P.S. If you buy the books via my page above, I earn affiliate commissions. This doesn’t cost you anything, but it allows me to continue to feed my book addiction and continue writing.

P.P.S. If you’d like to support my writing but can’t afford a regular Substack subscription, you can buy me a coffee for whatever feels right to you here. I just set up the page, so it’s a bit bare bones.